Tuesday, 21 April 2009
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the jolting call...
I was taking a swim around my notes today in preparation for the papers ahead, when i was jolted with the same nudge that i've been learning to respond for since i'm-not-sure-when.
it was a call
to awareness.
it really is very easy to get caught up in the everyday things. well, there are so many. the roles we play in this day and age are so diversed, and when it comes down to responsibility, there just is little time to bum around and sit on them. i'm so sure that anyone can identify with this.
i think this is our stage...
on which we learn to be shrewd as serpents and gentle as doves.we learn to beat the system-- while focusing on what needs to get done, and what's good to have done... to be able to yet be aware and attentive
... to God.
... to people.
... to needs around us.
... to things happening around us.
it takes a measure of shrewdness to be sharp and to manage our attention. it also takes a measure of gentleness to place them as important above ourselves, to acknowledge and feel the need. may our discerning senses keen as we choose to live, with all that we have, to christ... forgoing the self-seeking desires that dual so well with the onslaught of individuality our culture washes at us.
Saturday, 18 April 2009
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showers
Edit at 7pm:
If there's one thing that's i'd do for my husband consistently for all his life and for all whom he leaves behind after is this:
Laundry.
There are few things more therapeutic to me. :)
[haha, what sacrificial, self-less love i have here.
looks like i can't ever use the "you better love me coz i do all your laundry" argument in our marriage.
heh heh. good thing i won't be using that sort of threats anyway... hopefully any sort of threats at all. =] ]oh, but may he enjoy ironing!
I'm getting off to a late start this morning. Maybe I'm over-worked and under-sleeped. :0) Well, studying isn't that bad. I had a social psych paper yesterday and, like many, I didn't finish it. The former renders the latter acceptable to me. Either way, peace.
Prof announced a two-week study trip to Europe (was it germany?), and it made my heart flutter a little. I want to see that land, experience the other side of the world.
I know i've said this more than once, but I'm really desperate to travel.
I'm not altogether restless here, though. I suppose it's that eagerness to taste and experience places, sights, people, culture, and just explore... and to get-away. Well, not completely. I don't quite think i'm the kick-up-my-feet-let-the-dust-settle-on-its-own-time sort. Well, maybe I am. Hmm.. Okay, what i mean is, I don't really believe in leaving out of escape (though this is a point of personal contention for me.. learning to brave things instead of hide from them)... but if it were a responsible, intentional, meaningful leave of even up to years, i think i'd be prepared for that and welcome the idea very much. But, as yet, Father hasn't allowed me a trip out. =] that's fine... i'll just be looking forward!
i think i smell a small opportunity coming up soon soon soon... heh. and i hope i have my digital SLR's company.
or my new canon/olympus digital cam [i haven't been taking much photos coz i'm disappointed with the picture quality of my minolta. oh, Malachi my camera, you are failing me ]. well technically, it isn't mine mine. coz i don't have one yet. oh, some day! another one of those. tralala...there are some things i'm planning to focus on this upcoming summer break.
1. Home-hunting!
I'm excited about this. The timing is not there yet in terms of price... but i'll just be doing my preliminary round, get my eye fixed on some units and price-watch further. Hope to get my family settled by the end of the year. Praying for God's help to find a nice place with limited money. I know, like so many things in the past few months, I'm going to be learning and gaining so much experience with this too. I do not despise this as a responsibility.
2. Tutoring my korean girls full-time.
Really want to get them on track. Get Shine into a school. Get Jane on par with her peers.3. Exercise
For God, for health, for joy, for all my significant others! Cheers! heh.4. Art & Craft & Writing
I've got a whole series of projects up my sleeve for months (which also includes gifts i haven't given out till now.) and just haven't had the time to get them done. This is making my heart desperate. I shall cringe and be imprisoned until i find release. I need space, privacy and time to do these...5. Ministry
I've been very encouraged by the intercession time every week. It's really one of the things in which i find treasure and grace without fail.. and we'll see what doors open up as time opens up too.i think 5 targets should be enough.
here's to living purposeful. idleness and rest are too often confused in the world.
let's live meaningful lives, doing things we need to do and things we love to do, so long as they are right and good to do![ahh... back to the books... 3 more papers.]
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
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becoming...
so, everyone,
i've come to the conclusion that i'm allergic to this semester. haha. the throat is burning. shoo, pain, shoo! well, i think it's really God's grace that i'm still joyful as this semester rolls along. that doesn't at all mean that there aren't days when i stress out (and that tortures a couple of people around me, especially ben. heh. i'm learning to control my emotions more and be more independant in taking unnecessary troubles captive under Christ. as well as complaints! desperately trying to learn to live without complaints that serve no purpose other than to bring down the spirit)... coming back to school late this semester and after having that last semester's urgent leave of absence, and subsequently having to go on that endless race catching-up, and the roller coaster of reflection about my studenthood, well, has been quite wearying but bearable.
anyway, tomorrow raph's coming over to hit the books again! and she'll have me sit on the far end of the table so my flu germs won't run over to give her a hug. haha.... raph and i used to be pretty similar... and as the days, months and years tumbled along, well, let's just say that for one thing, our academic paths (& hearts!) have diverged a great deal. it's wonderful being friends of ten years. i hope this friendship abides through the years ahead... she's a mirror to me.
sometimes the kind of mirror that pokes fun at how you look.
sometimes the kind of mirror that every lady would like in her bathroom
-- the kind that makes your features sharper and make you look good.
sometimes the kind of mirror that just shows you you, plainly.life will happen.
we'll step into our careers, our new families.
everything i can't feignly describe yet, for fear of distorting the beauty of tomorrow with sub-par dreams, and so shan't attempt.
except that...
at my wedding, (while i don't know if i'll even have a maid-of-honour) she'll be a sister honoured by me. at my first (and who knows how many more) child-birth, she'll be auntie raphie, and not to mention personal speech and language development therapist. and on through the years, maybe, we'll be dumping our kids at each others' so we can take time off for a holiday. ... and everytime some silly chick flick's on, she'll be my first call because i needn't attempt with Ben anyway.
[[i better stop here, before she cringes into a prune.
hey, raph, oh please, this post means about much more than just you ;) heh.. ]]point is, i cherish days like tomorrow.
when we just sit and study, forgetting momentarily that life will grow and change and someday we'll look back on it as a shadow of yesterday. tomorrow, like today, is really much more than we know yet.
today i am younger than tomorrow.
tomorrow we mature. we grow. we become.
for me... hopefully, and desiringly so,
to become a stronger, better, more loving woman.
thank you Jesus for today.
and yesterday. they were all special..
and here's to all the yesterdays that were captured...
and to all those that have been forgotten:
Monday, 13 April 2009
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what i am
as i was browsing sites today to keep myself awake between paragraphs of my long overdue essay, i stumbled upon, just conincidentally, poetry.
poetry everywhere..
and it reminded me how much i love those.
there is something about words... words said few and said well that can speak so much.
this is not poetry, but i also came across this on someone's profile message and i like it very much---
""I am not what I ought to be.
I am not what I want to be.
I am not what I hope to be.
But still, I am not what I used to be.
And by the grace of God, I am what I am."
-John Newton"
servant_girl
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- Name: Dianne Asha
- Birthday: 9/19/1986
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 2/26/2004
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"Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:25-26 Come, sit with me...
sweet nothings...
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lightning striking and thunders clapping as if they were 5 feet away from me! the weather's crazy these days... but love today's storm
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one thing about living in this country... the weather! goodness, it has been hot, sticky days! i don't like these much... haha.
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i'm falling ill. please pray for me, exams are next week! :)
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perhaps it's because of the weather. it's been storming and pouring so much these days... and you know how i am about the rain :)
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i was told today that i've been seeming very joyful :) that is a sweet sound to my ears and altogether true.
